New Beginnings

     To feel both great joy and deep sadness all in one season of life is a unique experience. This last month has brought both of those in extreme forms. Knowing that we were going where God was leading, and having His confirmation time and again made it easier, but nothing prepares you for leaving EVERYTHING and EVERYONE behind in the process. Youth Ministry was something that I had invested my life in even as I was a teenager. Red Bluff was the place I was called into ministry.. it was the place I grew up... The place I had roots.. Family... Friends. Yet, here Jesus was, calling us to move 3000 miles across the country to a place where we had Him, each other, the Prius and the few things that would fit in it. When I would sit there and rationally think about what Trevor and I were about to do, it all sounded crazy... and scary. The "what if's" flooded my mind and at more times than I'd like to admit, would paralyze me with the fear of all that could go wrong.... And yet when I looked at it spiritually, I KNEW we were stepping out in the right direction and that He would provide for us along the way. There is something so magnificent about the presence of Jesus and how much peace He gives when we're not relying on our own strength or understanding. At times, I've felt like a ping pong ball, tossed back and forth between faith and fear. This last few months have been a huge growth point for Trevor and I in our levels of dependency on Him. We have stepped out like never before, and have seen God catch, guide, protect and provide for us like never before. We have been so beyond blessed just in the short time of being here and we can't wait to see what else He has in store.

 

     As we neared Okeechobee for the first time last month, the song "Here As In Heaven" by Elevation worship was playing in the background. We were driving past some gorgeous fields on a day that couldn't have been more picture perfect... And as the words from the song were sung, and we entered this new territory where God had led us, tears just began to stream down my face.

 

"The atmosphere is changing now,

for the Spirit of the Lord is here,

the evidence is all around,

the Spirit of the Lord is here.

Overflow in this place,

Fill our hearts with Your love,

your love surrounds us.

You're the reason we're here,

to encounter Your love. 

Your love surrounds us.

Spirit of God fall fresh on us.

We need Your presence.

Your kingdom come, 

Your will be done,

 here as in heaven.

 A miracle can happen now,

for the Spirit of the Lord is here.

 The evidence is all around,

that the Spirit of the Lord is here." 

 

Trevor and I both just sat silently in the car and just felt the presence of God surrounding us. Every word in that song just hit us as a reminder of His hand upon this new season. From that moment on, I haven't experienced a moment of the fear that had tried so hard to steal my focus. We felt a complete shift of our focus (from being focused on California and our lives there, to turning our hearts more fully to the mission before us in Florida). Neither one of us has looked back since.

 

     When we arrived at the ranch, we just felt like we were home. I've never walked into a place before and had that feeling so soon. The staff here is incredible, and we are so thrilled to be partnering with them. We've never had a group of people be so welcoming as we have here. There are 6 other couples serving as House Parents (and there will soon be another couple, as they're almost finished building the 3rd boys home). Beyond the house parents, there are a group of volunteers that come to serve at different times of the year  (snowbirds, who stay down here in the winter months). Many of them are a part of MAPS (Mission America Placement Service), an Assembly of  God Missionary Program. This ranch operates just like the New Testament church, working together and constantly helping meet the needs of the others. I've never seen anything quite like it, apart from reading about it in the Word. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to be a part of something like this. The community support for this ranch is also like nothing else I've ever seen. People donate to Real Life constantly... Rodeo tickets, fair tickets, food at the fair, gifts, free chiropractic visits, food, water and many other events/things. Youth groups and church groups come out almost weekly to spent time with the kids and love on them, often providing food as well.

 

     Trevor and I are the relief house parents for the 3 girls homes and in this short amount of time, have already fallen in love with these kids and what we are given the privilege of doing. We spend about 9-14 days in 1 home while the primary house parents get to have time off. We repeat that cycle through each of the girls homes until we have our time off. We get to love on these kids every day and  point them to Jesus in all we say and do. We know these kids come from a variety of awful situations and home lives, and however long they're here, we'll strive to model what healthy family/marriages/lives/relationships with God look like so that they know how to live when they're no longer in our care.

 

     We are so honored to serve in this place with these kids. Trevor and I keep coming up to each other in shock, saying,  "This is our life!" and "Man, we love this place!".... Did we ever envision that we'd be living in Florida doing this? NO! But man I wouldn't change it. This place has our hearts. We miss everyone in California a TON, but we know that this is where God has us, so we'll just keep praying that all of our Californians move out here to Florida. Trust me, Florida is SO much cooler than California! :-P

 

     We apologize if you've tried to contact us and we haven't gotten back to you yet, we've been super busy with training and getting settled in. It should be a little less crazy now. I'll try and keep everyone updated as much as I can!

 

      Love you all!

 

      Kristin

This last year I was blessed with an Annual Pass to my happy place. My place of escape. My place of inspiration. My place of vacation. The place that holds a large portion of my all time favorite memories and moments with some of my absolute favorite people. Of course, this place is none other than Disneyland.


Disneyland is magical. Absolutely, positively astounding. Every time I'm there, I'm moved and inspired. There's just something about it. It's a place where passions are ignited. Ideas and vision go beyond mere thoughts, and are put to action. Over this last year, I've been continuously moved and inspired because I've been given the opportunity to spend a pretty amazing amount of time there. The following is just a portion of what I've learned from Disney.


Lesson 1: Disney NEVER does ANYTHING halfway. (And neither should we)

Never once will you see Disney come up with something less than spectacular. They leave no detail untouched. From the cast members uniforms to the expression on the faces of all the characters in every ride- they are all intricately put together and incredibly thought out. There is a ton of heart, passion, planning, and intense brainstorming that takes place with every Disney decision.

I find this to be one of the greatest factors in Disneys' success. Being in Youth Ministry, I obviously think of things in terms of how the youth group is ran. I'm guilty of so often coming up with half-cooked ideas. Ideas that aren't fully thought out or that I've failed to put action to. This Disney point has inspired me, to do NOTHING halfway. No Youth Service. No Bible Study. No Discipleship program. No event.... And beyond ministry, it has inspired me to personally strive to stick to EVERYTHING I set out to do. Every diet, every budget, every plan or goal I'm working towards. So lesson 1: Never do anything halfway.


Lesson 2: Disney sets their ideas to action. (and we should too... Well, the good ideas at least haha)

When I went to Disneyland in 2009, I was in awe of these signs talking about the work under way at Disneys California Adventure. These signs foretold of this wonderful new show called World of Color. As I stood there overlooking the point where water used to cover the area in the above pictures, I began to anticipate the great new things to come. The signs surrounding the work area talked about how the idea had come to be, and all the steps that would be (and were) taking place to take the World of Color show from a mere idea to a magnificent part of the Disney parks experience. So lesson two comes in the form of not only casting huge vision, but in bringing that vision to life.

So many times we have great ideas, or a great heart... but we lack the initiative needed to launch those ideas into action. One of my favorite Disney quotes is, "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them". We like to focus on the two big nouns in that quote (dreams and courage). We all love to have dreams, and we all love to talk a big game about how we're going to be courageous and face and overcome the fears and factors that stand in the way of us and our goals.... but so often the emphasis in that quote doesn't land where it should; on "pursuit". As the action word in the quote, it doesn't get all of the credit it deserves. Disney has a way of having a vision for something and pursuing it like a teenage boy pursues a girl: Nonstop. They're relentless. They are driven by action. Motivated by their vision. Compelled by their mission.

Are we not called to be people of action? Ideas and dreams are absolutely wonderful and imperative to success, BUT those ideas will die with you if you don't start putting them to ACTION. I once read in a book that the richest place on Earth is a graveyard. Why? Because God has given each of us the gifts, talents, visions, dreams, and ideas to change the world... but all too often all of those things go to the grave with us, and all because we failed to pursue them or gave up trying. Lesson 2: Disney has taught me to DO.


Lesson 3: Disney didn't despise humble beginnings (Okay, this one's from the Bible, but I find Disney to be a great example of this).

Seeing all that the Disney empire has become (with all the movies, amusement parks, cruise lines, etc.) it's hard for some to imagine the trials Walt would have walked through to get to the point his company is at now. If asked now, millions of adoring fans would LOVE to spend a day in Disneyland, work there, or even live there! Or even the fans that would simply LOVE to watch a classic Disney movie... but it wasn't always so. Can you imagine that growing up, Walt was told he wasn't creative enough? Would you imagine that people continually told him that he was destined to fail. People betted against him. Heck, even opening day at Disneyland was an absoluted disaster.... And yet, here we are today, admiring all that has come from his legacy. The giant success we see today of all things Disney started out as a likely failure from a likely nobody.

Going back to the ministry side of things, this has challenged me immensely. In my own first youth ministry, I started from nearly the ground up. I was forced to set a foundation and build off of that. It was challenging to say the least. Coming from a youth ministry of hundreds, it was an ego killer to start out in a group of say 4 kids. I've learned that humble beginnings are just that: humbling. When I first started, it was admittedly hard to preach a message (that I had spent days and countless hours pouring my heart and soul into) to such a low number of students. Of course, I had one of those lovely God moments where He kind of smacks you upside the head and reminds you to look at things differently. It was in those moments where the Disney/biblical message was applied to my life: Don't despise humble beginnings. Preach your guts out whether you're preaching to 1 or 1,000. Do EVERYTHING with ALL you've got. No matter what. No matter how many followers you have. No matter how many people think you're going to fail. Just focus on being who God has called you to be, and doing what He has called you to do... and THEN, all bets are off, because with Him, you're going to to go further than you could have ever dreamed or desired. So lesson 3: Don't hate small beginnings.


Lesson 4: Disney NEVER stops growing and changing. (And we can't either!)


One of the wisest quotes from Disney himself is that "Disneyland will never be completed, it will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world". Everytime I go to Disneyland, I feel like something new is being built or dreampt up. One of my favorite places to visit is the Imagineering Blue Sky Cellar, where they map out all the new ideas so that Disney fans can accompany them on the journey of growth and change. I LOVE that Disney is never done. As many things may remain the same, multiple other things are being renovated, updated, or built. I LOVE that they refuse to ride off the coattails of past success. Once a great new attraction comes out, you don't see Disney kicking back and thinking their job is done. No, rather you see them moving on to dream up and pursue something else. They realize that there is always room for improvement. They see that if you're not growing, you're dying. They understand that continual positive change is a big part of their success.

Like Disney, we NEED to understand the same. We are NEVER done. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, change, and growth. We have to continually strive to work on ourselves. In order to do all that God has called me to do, I must strive to be the best possible version of me. I'm not perfect, I fail more often than not and struggle probably more than I should. I have hangups and faults... but I refuse to allow them to be excuses to remain the same. I choose to work on me. I choose to work on being who God's called me to be. It won't be overnight change, but through constant dedication and relentless pursuit I will see positive change.... and when I do see growth and change, I must keep going. I must keep pursuing. I must keep getting challenged to grow... because if you're not growing, you're dying. So lesson 4: Never trick yourself into believing you've "arrived" at good, or great, or perfection. There is ALWAYS room for growth. (Sidenote: That DOESN'T mean you're never excited about the growth and success you DO see.... it just means you just keep on moving).


I'm sure there are many many other lessons that could be learned from all things Disney, but I've already written a book here, so maybe I'll write part 2 later. To sum it up, Disney is a place of vision, passion, pursuit, inspiration, dedication, hard work, relentlessness, impeccable attention to detail, some nearly psychotic level of planning, humility, initiative, joy, and the faith to carry on with the vision when the world bets against you.

As a follower of Christ, I find every single one of those characteristics to be of utter importance in my walk with Him and in the ministry I do in His name. I'm challenged to have that same vision, passion, dedication, humility, relentlessness, etc. To wrap up this year of lessons learned from the land of Disney, I can sum it up with this: I am INSPIRED.... more so rather, I am inspired to BE.



I've been called to action, how about you? <3

*Devastation and Reform*

You ever feel like you're a character from the TV show Lost? Here it is, you've gone through 6 years of seriously insane and confusing junk, just praying it makes sense in the end. You're stranded on a weird island. Surrounded by weirder people. Odd miraculous healings have occurred. You're finding polar bears on tropical land. There's a black smoke creature chasing you. You're trying to figure out who the heck this Jacob guy is and what in the world he wants with you!... I remember watching the episodes back to back trying to observe every detail I could to try and figure out this mystery show. I can honestly say I was entirely confused until the end of the show. Lately I've felt similar to what I can only assume those characters would have felt being stranded on that island.

Every season in life I walk through, a new lesson is learned and I reach new "levels" (for all you gamers) in my relationship with God. Some seasons are harder than others, and some top the charts with their difficulty level. Currently I'm at living at home again, out of ministry for the first time since I knew I was called to be a minister, lost my job a few weeks ago when they shut down, and I'm in a financial "pit of despair" (Princess Bride... come on people). Needless to say I've felt a little lost. Okay, a LOT lost. If you're anything like me (overly analytical), walking through times like this means you think about everything, leaving no detail untouched. Unfortunately, the list of things I do understand in life pales in comparison to the list of everything I can't begin to comprehend. I've found that through this season, 5 words dominate my vocabulary. "I don't understand. I don't know. Why?" (Yes bonehead, that was 5 words, I just used 2 of them twice, give me a break haha). I've had countless frustrated conversations with God, asking Him why. Telling him I don't know what He's doing. Whining about how I don't understand His plans for my life right now. Even greater in number are the conversations I've had with all the people wondering what in the world I'm doing with my life. The many questions they have aren't intended to be offensive. I know they love me. Yet, I can't help that pang of insecurity that hits as they play their round of 20 questions. I have no good answer for them. "Where are you going to work now?" "What's your plan?" "What's God telling you? What direction is He leading?"... And to all of them, I can do no more than give them a ridiculously sheepish, "I don't know." The only question everyone seems to have for me that I can answer with undoubtable certainty is "Will you continue on in ministry?" It is without question a part of me, and I know that God is not by any means done with His plans for me.

I'm reminded of the story in the Bible found in Mark 4:35-41. Here it is, nearing nighttime and Jesus tells his disciples to come out onto the boat with him. The disciples go without question, as they had many other times. The story truly begins to unfold as this giant squall (storm) comes suddenly and nearly capsizes the boat. Here you have all the disciples running around freaking out, trying to keep from getting tossed in the water, screaming, stressing, and fearing for their lives. Where is Jesus, you ask? Ah yes, He's in the back of the nearly sinking boat, asleep. The disciples see this and become even more frustrated with the situation. Here's the man who's gone around performing miracles and casting out demons and yet this miracle man sleeps in the midst of their despair? Waking Him up, the disciples irritation can be heard in their words, "Do you not even care if we drown?" It was a moment of confusion and desperation for the disciples, as they saw their futures bleak before them. Within an instant Jesus simply spoke to the storm (yes, you read that right... Jesus is talking to the weather) and told it to "Be still". As quickly as the storm came upon them, it faded with the simple words of Jesus. He turned to His disciples and asked, "Why are you so afraid. Do you still have no faith?"

Did you notice in the story that Jesus told them to get in the boat with Him. He had led them to the very place that the storm would take place. It was where He wanted them to be. Now I don't know for sure, but I can imagine that the disciples began to use some of those same 5 words I've used endlessly in their confusion. "I don't understand. Why?" Why is this happening? Notice that Jesus never gave an answer as to why the storm had come or why He hadn't stopped it sooner. I'm sure the disciples had a list of things they didn't understand during the whole ordeal... but in the end, I believe the few things they did understand mattered far more than their lists of doubts and uncertainties. At the end of the story, they understood that it was Jesus who saved them. They understood that it was Him who had control of the situation from beginning to end. They understood that their perception was limited to the things they saw as rational, possible, and probable. They saw that Jesus had a perception different than they understood, He had a way of seeing the unseen, and making the impossible possible.

As I read that story, I thought of all of the other people in the Bible who I'm sure at times didn't understand the plan God had for them. I'm sure Job didn't understand all of the trials he walked through. I'm sure at the time, Noah had a few questions about building that ark. I'm sure Joseph wondered why God had given him dreams of becoming something great if he was spending his life in prison for crimes he didn't commit. Heck as I think about it, I can't recall many stories where God mapped out the future and let each detail of the journey be known to His people. It's not His style. He sets us out on the irrational plans, the ones far beyond our comprehension. The kind we can't understand.

In the end I believe the lesson I'm learning with all of this is that I'm not alone in not understanding the plans God has for me. He has a way of revealing the puzzle piece we need most exactly when we need it, not a moment before. Isn't that truly where our life lessons come from anyways? It's those moments for the disciples where they realize AFTER the storm that their faith needed some work. Those frustrating seasons and trials are often the ones the most personal growth comes from.

~Adversity precedes growth~

I'm Reminded of a Life That I Once Knew...

So here I am in the middle of the infamous month of love. If you're in love, it's a month where there's the typical flowers, candy, and the boosting of the Hallmark rip off haha. If you're not in love, and are sadly single during this twitter-pated month, the bill for your therapist sky rockets as you need to talk about "how you feel" about being so unfortunately alone, and the Kleenex company thrives on your tears of pain and loneliness. Luckily for me, the kleenex company isn't making bank off of me like they are some of you haha =-P...

Ok so here's where this blog truly begins...

In this season of love, I'm reminded consistently of the life I used to lead. People and places that used to be constants in my life are now just pieces of who I used to be in a life I've all but forgotten. It's funny how things in life seem like they just happened yesterday, yet they seem like a distant foggy memory, all in the same instance. It's funny how the choices I made yesterday have effected me to the very core of who I am today. It's funny how life changes directions on you, JUST when you think you had it all figured out. It's funny how easy it is to praise God when things are going great, but how impossible it seems to praise Him when things are rough and discouraging.

I'm reminded in this season of love, of the love that used to be in my life. The love that we shared, the life that we lived, the memories that we made. Now don't get me wrong, I know that the relationship we had, wasn't one that was wholly pleasing to God, and that's exactly why it ended. My point however, is simply that I'm reminded of the sacrifice that I made for God, because if it weren't for Him, I may have never thought to end the relationship, thus leaving me married by now with a completely different life than the one i currently lead.

The second sacrifice I'm reminded of is the comfort of my family's home, my friends surrounding me, and a job I felt secure in. I was so comfortable in my old life, while I had my struggles, I could bury them away by throwing myself into late night hangouts with my pals to get my mind off of the trials I walked through. I had my family there to take care of my every need, and I adored spending time with them. All of that is but a memory however, and I was recently reminded of how painful it was to have left everyone and everything that I did.

The memories have flooded me as though a dam broke and sent the powerful emotions tied to each memory to punch me in the face... and with each blow, I'm reminded of something that I no longer have. The emotions overwhelm me and take my thoughts captive to the point where I question, "God, where is your hand in this"... See God I know that you give and you take away, but sometimes I'm just reminded so bluntly of the things I've been stripped of... the things you've seen unfit for me to carry in my life. I've abandoned it all, but sometimes I feel like I've lost more than I'll ever fully begin to gain.

See there's times where I just get so tired, tired of fighting the good fight, tired of always doing right. Throughout life we go through many seasons, whether it's a season of peace or pain, trial or triumph... we all walk through various situations and times in life. No matter who you are though, you eventually get tired. Living life while being tired can be a dangerous place. While we're tired, our decisions are clouded by bad judgment and a misunderstood perception on how things really are. We start looking at situations in our life and seeing things completely different than they really are. In Fievel Goes West (great movie!!!), Fievel is walking along in the desert for what seems like forever, he is tired, thirsty, lost, and doesn't think he can take it much longer. In the distance he sees water, but as he gets closer and closer he sees that the water he thought he saw didn't exist. In his tired state of mind, his perception was distorted, he began to see things that weren't as though they were.

The past couple weeks have been hugely reminiscent for me, as I've continued to miss pieces of the life I left behind.... BUT there's only one thing it comes down to... In all my thinking the last couple weeks about the sacrifices I'VE made, I had nearly lost sight of the ultimate sacrifice that HE made!!! I recently played a video clip for my students where it paralleled the sacrifice God made in giving Jesus for us to a man who was the keeper of a drawbridge, who was forced to decide between pulling the lever to send the drawbridge down, ultimately sacrificing his son who got caught in the gears of the track OR saving hundreds of people on a passing train. He chooses to save the people on the train, which of course left his little boy crushed and lifeless by the choice he made. The people on the train passed by unaware that the mans son was selflessly sacrificed to save their lives. The people continued on their way, laughing, sleeping, eating, and making out with their boyfriend/girlfriend. You see the last couple weeks I had forgotten just how much He sacrificed for ME... an ungrateful, undeserving, mess like me. You see for some reason only known to Him, I'm called. For some reason beyond what I can fathom or understand, He has a purpose for me. It's not that I lost my passion, It's not that I was backsliding, It's not that I lost sight of the call on my life... but rather that I forgot to protect myself from discouragement. When discouragement set in, I began to miss the things I used to have... but see when God calls us to a higher purpose, He calls us to a higher standard of living, and sometimes that means that we aren't going to be comfortable... but honestly, God help me if I ever DO become comfortable again, because comfort often hinders us from stepping into the opportunities and divine appointments that we are meant to have.

Discouragement will set in from time to time, but it's then that you must fully focus your eyes on why you're doing whatever it is that you're doing in the first place. Keep hold of the dream, don't ever lose sight! Someone wise once told me that life is just a journey to a better place. I believe it's true.... IF we don't give up in the middle of the journey or allow the circumstances to take negative control over our lives. You see, Fievel could have given up after being lost in the desert for so long and been disappointed when he saw that the water he expected to be there turned out to be a mirage... but he didn't, he kept going... because he had a dream, he knew his ultimate goal. So tonight I urge you, know your goal.... Keep it close to your heart. Don't EVER forget the sacrifice that was made for you, because IF you do, you'll begin to live for yourself and think that it's all about you, and that's exactly where you'll lose it!

Last off, I'm reminded in thinking of sacrifices, that when God called me into ministry, I answered the call. I knew full well that it'd cost me, I would have been stupid to think I'd be able to take this journey without it costing me my comfort, my control, my security in myself, as well as my pride from time to time. I have been bought with a price, the HIGHEST price.... so just as King David wouldn't offer God a sacrifice that cost him nothing, I say the same... God, I will not offer to you that which costs me nothing.... because if it costs me nothing, what is it exactly that I'm sacrificing?... Nothing!

I choose to hold on tight to You, my Jesus, through the thick and the thin. I choose to live my life as a holy and pleasing SACRIFICE to You, my God. I choose to look forward, towards my future instead of behind into my past, because I KNOW that nothing in my past will even begin to amount to what blessings You have for my future God! I will stay the course, I WILL fight the good fight. I WILL love how You loved. I WILL serve as You served. God the last thing I give to You tonight is simply my heart, the good, the bad, the ugly.... and I make the commitment to praise you in the victorious times as well as the times that leave me tired and discouraged. Jesus... I am Yours, use me... Unconditionally! I WILL follow you no matter what gets thrown my way.


Lastly, I'm reminded of a song called "Amazed".... because God, I am amazed by You!!!!

You dance over me,
While I am unaware.
You sing all around,
But I never hear the sound.
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
You paint the morning sky
With miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For you hold me in your hand
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.

Happily Ever After?

Another one I wrote a while ago....

When I was growing up, one thing set the foundation for my thoughts; Happily Ever After. I was only 5 but I knew what I wanted... I wanted that Prince Charming to come and wisk me away to our happily ever after. I was envious of Ariel, Belle, and Cinderella. These princesses lived the good life and I wanted my story to unfold just as theirs did. What little girl didn't have that dream? What I didn't realize was that this thought process had contaminated my very being. My mind was constantly driven by the overwhelming urge for that perfect guy. In my mind, that would complete my story, and no matter what I walked through everything would be perfect. Stupid, right? Don't lie...you've wanted it...I just said it. But as I grew up I began to see my story unfolding completely different than I had hoped. I began to see how dissapointing this world could be, and I simply lost hope. In giving up my previous happily ever after dream though, I saw hope with something else. Jesus.

With the world sending us these mixed messages it's no wonder we're so messed up. It's so easy to lose focus of the things God has called us to do. In the world we live in (with sooo many distractions), it's a wonder we accomplish anything that furthers the Kingdom of God. Even knowing the call God has placed on my life, sometimes I can't seem to pull away from the madness and business my life has become accustomed to. I get so frustrated and overwhelmed with the way things are going that I start blaming God for not making my life less stressful. What I often fail to realize is that i'm in the spot i'm in by my own admission. By simply giving everything to God and spending the time I need to with Him, He heals my heart and allows me to release all the built up pressure I've accumulated from the stresses of the world. There's just something about resting in Gods peace... It's rejuvinating, stress free, and everything opposite of what I feel as I spend time in this world. It's amazing how much we make this world our home. I suppose it's because we've never known any different. We get to the point where we let the world in so much that we shut Jesus out. Maybe we do it intentionally, maybe not...but we still do it. Sometimes we try to see how close we can get to being a part of the world, taking part in carnal pleasures...and yet still walk with God. Jesus warned us long ago that we can't serve two masters, we can't live for both Him and the world. He has told us to seek Him first, above ALL else...and then he will give us the desires of our hearts. Unfortunately, we try to do it all backwards. Our mindset is more like "hey, let me do all the things in life I want to first, what can I do to make myself happy"... And then we try to cram God into whatever is left of ourselves. How is it that we've gotten to this point.

We all have things that divert our attention away from Christ. For me it was growing up under the false idea of happily ever after. Don't get me wrong...I'm most definitely not against relationships or people wanting to be in one.... because it can be a beautiful thing. I'm simply not ok with my life being centered around that one thing. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. God has called each and every one of us to accomplish something amazing... He has a story written for us, and it's way more creative and dreamy than even Walt Disney could imagine.

What's keeping you away from the calling Gods placed on your life?

How can I?

This is something I wrote a while back, but hadn't posted on here... so here it is.

As I've sat through services at church the past couple weeks, I couldn't help but look around to see just how much people choose to tune out. I mean I get that sometimes we sit through church services and it's just like... "Ok, I'm soooo tired, is it over yet...or man this is really boring today, lets just get this over with"....... I'm definitely guilty of having those thoughts at one time or another and I'm not saying you're a sinner if you don't FEEL like being at church one Sunday/Tuesday.... but to continually come to church only to shut Jesus out is utterly pointless.

I had a great experience with God a couple weeks ago at youth. We watched a video, and the speaker is someone who has impacted my life and inspired me in huge ways... now coming out of that service, I was excited! I felt amazing, and God just really revealed great things to me. I was at the edge of my seat the entire time and soaked in every word of wisdom this man of God had to offer. After the service, I went up to talk to a friend who I knew could totally get something out of the message and asked them how they liked it...and to my amazement, all I got was an "ehhh, it was ok...just another service" I was seriously stunned. How could someone sit through something so powerful and moving, and not be touched... As I pondered how this could be, the answer simply came to me.... They hadn't come that night expecting or wanting to hear from God. They choose not to receive anything from God. They were there to put in their mandatory Christian church time and as long as they were physically there for all to see, it didn't matter to them that they had checked out mentally.
I've seen it all too much lately... Christians on auto-pilot.. and it makes me so sad, to know that they have all the potential of being used by God but choose to tune out and walk away instead. My heart breaks for these people. It's no wonder people get burned out from playing church. They don't tap into God and who He really is and what He really wants to do in them...and when things go wrong in their lives, they don't have the peace (that only comes from Jesus and resting in him)... they continue to have no hope. No passion. No purpose. No understanding of their destiny or the person God is trying to call them to be.

I believe the words made famous by Lifehouse state it best....

"And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"

How can we sit in Gods presence and not be touched by Him?!? How can we be in the presence of Jesus Christ and tune out?!?

The song goes on to say;
"You're all I want you're all I need.

You're everything, everything

You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything."

But is that our mentality? More often than not we seem to have the opposite thought process. By sitting in His presence and disreguarding Him... we are saying something like... "God, You're not all I want, you're not all I need. I wish I was somewhere else, doing something else...I'm sorry God who created the universe, God who created ME...I don't want to hear what you have to say to me today."

We all have so much junk in our lives...so much pain, sin, stress, anger, bitterness, ect... And how many of us WANT to deal with that.... Sorry, but I don't WANT to deal with pain... Do you? So if we have pain in our lives, obviously we're gonna want to get rid of it, and the only place to get rid of our pain (more than just temporarily) is through Jesus....
Remember the woman with the issue of blood in the Bible... for 12 years she struggled with a disease that left her weak, anemic, in pain...and embarrassed because she was constantly bleeding everywhere. Now after 12 years of dealing with this incurable disease, she sees Jesus passing by with a large crowd of people. Ok, so knowing Jesus could cure her no problem, no questions asked...Imagine, that she just decided to sit back and watch Jesus pass by, not attempting to go to him for help. What if she just didn't FEEL like going after Jesus that day?.....seems absurd right? I mean we all know that she fought through the crowd that day, she crawled to Jesus, touched His cloak, and was healed.... Now reading that, you're probably like "well i'd go for Jesus too... obviously"...but would you really? Because if you're living with junk in your life and tuning God out as you sit in church... you're obviously not going after those miracles. You're watching Jesus pass by, telling Him (by every second you tune out) that He isn't worth the effort.

When will we get so tired of living the way we're living... that we just go after God with ALL that we have... and instead of having the "you're not worth the effort" attitude... seek the "YOU'RE ALL I WANT, YOU'RE ALL I NEED, YOU'RE EVERYTHING" attitude.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God,
you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all
your soul." —Deuteronomy 4:29

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you
will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who
asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will
be opened." —Matthew 7:7-8

We must seek Him to find Him... We have to go after Him with ALL we have.
ARE YOU READY?

I think God forgot the shut off valve to my brain...

It seems I can't sleep much these days. I guess there's just a million and twelve things running across my mind at this point in life, and sleep simply won't bless me with it's presence while my brain is on overload. This won't be a very long blog, or my best writing... but I've been needing to start a blog for a while now and I've had this gnawing urge to just write. Who knows if this will actually be read by people.. It may be simply for me to keep track of where I've been in life and how far I've come. My other blogs won't be this boring, promise. If in fact, you are reading this and you decide to stick around for the rest of my writing, I hope to encourage, challenge, and strengthen you. God has me on an intense roller coaster in my life and I can't wait to share both the good and the bad with you. Someday I'm going to write a book, and whoever you are that may be reading this can say that they knew me before I was famous =-P ... For real though, I hope you'll be blessed by my future postings. Well, it's late and attempting sleep sounds like a potentially promising act... so off I go. I'll hopefully continue this weekly, if not daily.
Mucho love <3
Kristin